Respite – What Is It? Do You Need It? Guest Columist
All of us know what caregiving is – most of us have cared for an infant/child, or for a older relative or friend. And we all know that caregiving can be a 24-hour a day job – in addition to any other things we have to do that day: laundry, cleaning, cooking, and for some, a job they have to work at.
Caregiving for an infant can be exhausting and sometimes overwhelming. They cry, they have dirty diapers, they need to be fed, they need to be comforted. But it is, for the most part, a ‘good’ time. Babies smile, they coo, they laugh, and they are small, so their messes, for the most part, are small, too. And the best part is, that as time goes on, the work will lessen, the child can potty themselves, dress themselves, feed themselves, etc. We still have to vigilant to make sure they don’t hurt themselves, but the physical care itself, does get reduced.
Caregiving for an older person can often involve many of the same things, but it is SO different.
There are so many reasons that an older person needs care. Some may have had a physical ailment such as a stroke, so they are unable to move as well, they may not be able to communicate their needs. (My grandfather had a stroke, and it was so difficult to understand him, he would get frustrated when we couldn’t make out what he was saying. He’d often cry and we’d all feel as helpless as he did.)
Some seniors may be bed-bound, requiring diaper and bed linen changes. It is so much different and requires so much more work to change an adult than it does a baby.
Some may be unable to feed themselves, or have difficulty swallowing. You can play games with a child to get them to eat, but it is demeaning to do the same for an older person.
If the person has Alzheimer’s or some other mental disability or dementia, they often cannot be left alone, as they can wander, turn on a stove or other electrical item that could then cause a fire. At night, they may not sleep well and get up at all hours. Someone has to get up with them so ensure that they don’t get hurt.
So how does ‘respite’ come into this? Respite is a time away, whether it is just for a few hours, a day or a week. Respite gives the caregiver a break, time for themselves, without worries because someone else is doing the ‘caregiving.’
Respite can be going out for a walk, going shopping, going to the doctor (because many caregivers neglect their own health), taking a trip, visiting a neighbor, or just taking an undisturbed nap for an hour or two. Respite can be HEAVEN on earth!
You can call your local senior services agency to see if they have a program (with limited funds), that can help to provide money to pay for respite, whether it is someone who comes into the home, or adult day care, or time in a care community for several days when a caregiver needs to get away for work or a personal trip.
If you are a caregiver, think about yourself. Give yourself a break. Studies have shown that often the caregiver becomes ill or even dies first, because he or she didn’t take care of themselves. Like they say on the airplanes, “In case of emergency, put your own oxygen on first.” You can’t help someone if you aren’t able to take care of yourself. Think of Respite as ‘taking care of yourself.’
Ceceila Sanders has devoted most of her life to working with Seniors. She currently is the Marketing Coordinator at Sunnymere of Aurora
